Deciding how to live your life.

It has been months since I have written on my blog. Alot has happened. I think the last time I wrote was more than 4 months ago. But it has been crazy! We have recently moved, again, into a two bedroom duplex in a great location in albuquerque. Having a seven month old and trying to put everything in its place is not ideal. Especially since she has started the attachment phase of her life. She cries for me to hold her constantly, and my back is not having it. Espcially since we found out we are pregnant again:) yep, we are having another baby due June 12, 2012. Because of this pregnancy my milk supply for Amrielle has been diminished and she is not growing enough or fast enough, she is below the 3% of her age group and it has been a growing stress. She eats bananas, and sweet potato, and eats ALOT, but then she is constipated because she is not getting enough liquids from my milk. So I have been researching what I could supplement her with. SO many different views on supplements by-the-way. She also doesn't like a bottle anymore. As you can see the stress is building and building. Oh and add BROKE to that mix.

So being five months pregnant and having a skinny almost 8 month old, living on a strict budget and worried about my childrens health and well being. I have been stressed to the max. I needed a way to fix it and this is where deciding how to live your life comes in to play.

So here are 6 things I have decided.

I have decided...

1. I don't want to be stressed. I want to be happy and calm and collected. Knowing and (when I don't know) finding out what is best for me and my family. Just having faith that things will work out.

2. I am extremly happy about this new baby. I tell you this not because it isn't true, but because people don't think I mean it. Many people I tell are shocked and awed that I got pregnant so quickly after my first baby's birth. They either think I am irresponsible, crazy, completely horny as could be. (may be true, my husband is amazing:)) or they think that it is a joke, an accident, that we don't want to have this baby. And to me that breaks my heart. I worked so hard through my first pregnancy talking and singing and being so excited for my baby to come, and now I have tried hiding my belly, not telling my husbands family (his sister just had a miscarraige), and trying to show people that although we are not exactly financially prepared, it is US in the situation, not them. We will figure things out. And we are so humbled and grateful that we are going to have another addition so quickly and so amazingly in our family. So deciding that it is OUR life, and that God is helping us, has made this new baby such a blessing. We know that it is a crazy situation and that it doesn't happen all the time. But we are lucky enough to experience it.

Who wouldn't want another baby like her?!


3. Having a fat belly is totally in right now... not really, and probably not ever. But to me, having a fat belly when everyone thinks I am supposed to be losing all that baby weight is just funny to me. I think alot of people at church think "boy she let herself go!" and other such things, but I know a secret that they don't. Being five months pregnant will do that to a girl. They will soon find out when we bring the new addition to church around june:) or when they see my 8 months huge belly and hopfully have some common sense.

4. Never having extra money to spend, just makes decisions easier. You just ask yourself "can I afford that?" and the answer is always "NO." It makes it so much easier when faced with the spoils of the world.

5. Not having friends I can hang out with, simply gives me more time to spend with my family.

6. Being completely satisfied with your sometimes unsatisfying life, is the decison that is hardest. I just want to realize deep inside that none of the things that are bombarding me are as important as what really matters. Yes i want a new couch and a million new clothes, and makeup and perfume and deocrations to make my new place exactly the home that I want. But what is really important is my family sticking together. Who cares if my house is horribly decorated. When it comes down to it what would I rather have? The support of a loving husband, or a beautiful sectional? Which lasts longer? Being kind, loving and honest. Or having a different outfit everyday of the week. Going out to eat at restaurants every night or a homecooked meal with good food that fills your belly and soul, and gives me something to do all day. Is there anything better than laughing, sleeping and talking, or being out in nature to see what God had created for me, for free? I think not. And I think that for once I am seeing that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

So yes, over all, there are many things that I want and can't have. But I now realize there are things that I need which are right in front of me and free for the taking.