welllllllllllllllllllllll... where do I start?
- appendics ruptured?
- pre mature baby Saylor?
- looking for an apartment?
- living at father in laws?
Yeah, I don't really want to talk about any of those things. I just want to talk about singing.
I freaking miss singing. I sing in my head because I can't sing out loud because I will wake my babies. it sucks. I miss singing, playing my guitar and writing dramatic songs. But now the drama I face is on a whole new level. No one wants to hear about getting thrown up on, or trying to find something for dinner, or not having any money. I'm not a country singer. So I want to say, I want to sing. For a long time. And I may want singing lessons.
I also, started exercising. I love it. It's challenging and fun. And I love Leandro, he is such a motivator:) And I lost over 7 pounds in like 2 weeks. It's great!
Marriage. Freaking hard. I never knew it would be so hard. I don't think I am very good at it. I want everything to be perfect, but, I don't want to try. It's awful. Being a lazy romantic is just not fun.
Apartment shopping. excited about that. I love finding a new place and making it my own. I just hope this next one is nice and fits our personalities.
Babies. Saylor and Amrielle. I love you girls. Saylor you are adorable! Amrielle you are beautiful and so smart and such a cute personality! I love both of you!
Patrick. We have two kids. CRAZY! No Wonder we are stressed.
Over all my testimony has been "tested" my happiness has been thwarted, and my stress levels have jumped sky high, I really think Patrick and I screwed ourselves by not choosing the right. We have had so many challenges that I never would have dreamed of. It's so hard to try to be better when you feel like you always make mistakes and God doesn't really want to help you. But knowing deep in side that He does and always loves you. It's crazy here at the Gatewood's. But I know.... think... hope... that everything will even out in the end. Heaven. I hope that I make it to heaven. We won't worry about finances, children being naughty, sickness, food, anything worldly. I want that so bad. How do you make a heaven on earth? Somebody show me how.
I rambled, but I am a mom of two pretty much infants. That aren't twins. There's alot on this mind of mine:)
- appendics ruptured?
- pre mature baby Saylor?
- looking for an apartment?
- living at father in laws?
Yeah, I don't really want to talk about any of those things. I just want to talk about singing.
I freaking miss singing. I sing in my head because I can't sing out loud because I will wake my babies. it sucks. I miss singing, playing my guitar and writing dramatic songs. But now the drama I face is on a whole new level. No one wants to hear about getting thrown up on, or trying to find something for dinner, or not having any money. I'm not a country singer. So I want to say, I want to sing. For a long time. And I may want singing lessons.
I also, started exercising. I love it. It's challenging and fun. And I love Leandro, he is such a motivator:) And I lost over 7 pounds in like 2 weeks. It's great!
Marriage. Freaking hard. I never knew it would be so hard. I don't think I am very good at it. I want everything to be perfect, but, I don't want to try. It's awful. Being a lazy romantic is just not fun.
Apartment shopping. excited about that. I love finding a new place and making it my own. I just hope this next one is nice and fits our personalities.
Babies. Saylor and Amrielle. I love you girls. Saylor you are adorable! Amrielle you are beautiful and so smart and such a cute personality! I love both of you!
Patrick. We have two kids. CRAZY! No Wonder we are stressed.
Over all my testimony has been "tested" my happiness has been thwarted, and my stress levels have jumped sky high, I really think Patrick and I screwed ourselves by not choosing the right. We have had so many challenges that I never would have dreamed of. It's so hard to try to be better when you feel like you always make mistakes and God doesn't really want to help you. But knowing deep in side that He does and always loves you. It's crazy here at the Gatewood's. But I know.... think... hope... that everything will even out in the end. Heaven. I hope that I make it to heaven. We won't worry about finances, children being naughty, sickness, food, anything worldly. I want that so bad. How do you make a heaven on earth? Somebody show me how.
I rambled, but I am a mom of two pretty much infants. That aren't twins. There's alot on this mind of mine:)
You have a cute background for your blog. :) Things seem tough for you but that is how we grow and you probably know that. I can tell you how I make a heaven on earth when things are not going the way I would hope them to be. I pray. I feel so much comfort when I am praying and it feels to me that I am close to heaven that way. It may be different for you. I know HF is right there next to you. Remember that you are loved. You can accomplish anything and get over every obstacle. You should totally figure out a way to sing again. That would make you happy. :) Amanda
ReplyDeleteI feel you girl. There are days I look at my life and say "this is it?!!" but I have to remember that I chose this life. I chose my husband and I chose kids over a career. The only reason I am ever unhappy is because of my attitude. And don't ever think heavenly father doesn't want to help you because you made mistakes. I had a really hard time with that too. I felt like I didn't deserve to be happy. Now I don't know where you guys are in terms of going to the temple, I'm just speaking from experience: Get that cute little family to the temple as soon as you can! I promise your burdens will be lifted. We did so much better all around when we finally decided to get our act together. And sing! Please sing! People do want to hear about barf and all that everyday stuff! Cause we all go through it! If I was a songwriter like you, I'd be all over that. I love you, Lace!
ReplyDeleteSing...Wake those babies up and then sing louder! You are so talented. Life is hard with two babies and a husband.. that almost makes three babies! (HA HA) I know how it is Lace. You will survive and look back on those days and miss them. I do. It is so hard having babies that close and being poor (at least we were). The stresses of that could kill a person. But I promise it will pass and Heavenly Father knows you and knows what you can handle. Come on, how many people are strong enough and cool enough to get sent two babies, so close, to poor parents?! WE ARE LACE, WE ARE! :) WE are so that cool. :)If you ever need anything, call me. I love you!
ReplyDelete